John, Paul, George, Ringo & Bert



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Not many people know this, but at the start of their career The Beatles were a five-person band for a short period. Following are short statements of the fab four and other people involved.

John: He came flying in, free as a bird.
Paul: He said he was a friend of Ringo.
Ringo: I thought he just lived in the building where we were shooting.
George: He's got a big head.


Picture 1: Bert sneaking into the cover picture of their first album: Please please me.

Because the cover was already printed before the mistake was discovered they kinda accepted him as a fifth member.

John: Imagine all the people reading the Financial Times.
Paul: He got a lot of fan mail, especially from todlers.
Ringo: He can't sing or play a note and that's coming from me!
George: His head is a universe on it's own.


Picture 2: The fab five are happy to see their stocks in Acme Apple Juice are rising.

Again Bert has not a single atom of influence on their second album.

Photographer: I wanted a nice two by two square of faces, but Bert was the fifth corner so to speak.
John: All I'm saying is give Bert a chance.
Paul: He wanted to change our name into The Bertles.
Ringo: Is this microphone on?
George: Even half his head is bigger than mine.


Picture 3: The cover picture of their second album: With the Beatles.

Because Bert couldn't hold a tune, he just ran around on stage.

John: Muppet is the woman of the world.
Paul: He shouted and made such a noise on stage we couldn't hear ourselves sing.
Ringo: People thought it was because of the noise by the audience, but it really was Bert who made us quit performing on stage.
George: Such a hollow noise he made, because of his big empty head.


Picture 4: One of their last gigs.

Bert is finally dumped from The Beatles.

John: This Bert has flown.
Paul: Without him we're sure to go on for 20 more years.
Ringo: This calls for a drink!
George: He sure left a big void.


Picture 5: Even though dumped, Bert makes his mark on the cover on their fourth album: Beatles for sale.